Weird Cleaning: Car Floor Mats

So the other day I had promised Hubs I'd detail our (super duper cool) minivan. While I was vacuuming it out, I noticed that the floor mats looked really grungy, so I figured "Hey, I bet that I could clean these. And not only could I clean them, but I could clean them while I was INSIDE. WITH AIR CONDITIONING." 

In preparation of this deep cleaning, I splurged an extra 75 cents to vacuum each one of them super well. From what I've read, some people just bang out the dirt, but that was both far too much physical exertion and I really didn't want the dirt that came off of them to blow onto my newly washed van.

Step 1: Take the before picture. Cat photobomb probably isn't necessary, but unavoidable in my house.

Oh Bear Grylls, you're a nut.

Step 2: Realize you don't own any carpet cleaning agents whatsoever and decide that dawn, vinegar, and hot water will almost definitely work. Or at least probably not bleach out your floor mats.

Ready for action.

Step 3: Add Dawn and vinegar until you get something that looks like blue Gatorade, or approximately 5 tablespoons of Dawn and 1/2 cup of vinegar.

But it's not blue Gatorade, so don't drink it.

Step 4: Add the hot water.

Foamy!

Step 5: Put some of this mixture into a long, shallow tupperware container (the one your turkey comes in), grab the sponge that you're about to throw away, and get scrubbing.

You can tell it's the drivers one because of the massive hole in the fabric where it's been worn away by our heels.

It should be noted that the use of cleaning gloves would almost definitely prevent the fact that the entire top layer of my hand skin peeled off the next day. Live and learn.

EPIPHANY/AMENDMENT: At this point, I remembered that my neighbor had left me a huge tub of OxiClean when they moved, so I used a scoop of that, mixed with two tablespoons of Dawn, into my quart bottle. Do this instead.

Close-up

Step 6: Realize your back seat mats have mysterious orange stains. Pre treat these with your new OxiClean mixture.

What are you, orange stain?

Use an old toothbrush to clean the edges and to scrub out the tough stains.

Step 7: Attempt to rinse off the mats in your shower/bathtub.

 

Step 8: Realize this is never going to work. At the same time, gag a little bit because the water that's rinsing off is SO GROSS.

Step 9: Make a shockingly large mess dragging your (now soaking wet, still heavy and awkward) mats downstairs to the basement, shove them in your washing machine, then do a rinse and spin cycle with 3 rinses. Figure this is pretty much as good as it's going to get, then go have a glass of wine or a cookie or something, because that was exhausting.

Step 10: Have Hubs bring them outside to dry in the sun. Because let's face it, it's really all the sun is good for. Also, if he asks why HE has to take them outside, say that if you have to wrestle those things one more time you're going to freak out. Use knife hands to make your point clear.

Step 11: Take your after photo!

Again, the cat photobomb is optional.

You can tell from the picture that the OxiClean mixture (of which I made approximately 4 quarts) did a way better job than the vinegar mixture (the small mat on the right was the vinegar one). Then again, it was also the drivers one, so maybe it's just way dirtier than the rest of them. 

Overall, this took about 3.5 hours to do all four. The hardest part was having to carry them around everywhere. Cleaning was fairly easy, plus I was inside so I stayed cool and was able to binge watch the half dozen or so Watch What Happens Live episodes I had on my DVR. 

This could've been much easier had I actually owned carpet cleaner. However, you can see that I have wood floors, and these are kinda what's everywhere, so I don't.

Try it for yourself, without making the same mistakes I did! Tell me what you think in the comments.

Your Registry and You Series: Part One

So today I was talking to Shannon about what I was going to buy for someone off their wedding registry when we got super derailed and I basically started to tell her all the stuff you REALLY need to register for, and what you don't.

This will be a many-part series. For now I'm sticking with dinnerware, drinkware, flatware, and linens. Mostly because one blog post with everything would be an epic novel and we just don't have that kind of time.

DINNERWARE

This is pretty obvious. Y'all are going to need plates, bowls, etc for all the delicious foods you'll be cooking together. The most important elements for your everyday dinnerware are: dishwasher safe, microwave safe, and oven safe. Most plain dinnerware is dishwasher safe, but any fancy, painted on details will eventually be completely destroyed by the heat. For this reason, we don't put our grandmother's fancy china in the dishwasher. Microwave safety is actually pretty important, regardless of how fancy you think you are. Saving someone a plate of dinner when they're working late is super nice of you, and they're going to put it in the microwave. Now, I try not to put plastic in the microwave because of the chemicals that can leach out and be absorbed by the food, but this is not the same with your dinner dishes.

This Murano dinnerware from Crate & Barrel is gorgeous, but you can't put it in the microwave, so don't bother.

Oven safe is nice because it means you can warm up plates if you're feeling extra fancy for dinner, or keep a plate warm for your spouse if they're working late. My dad always had a plate of dinner in the oven for when he got home if we decided to eat early. Most of the time plates will be oven safe up to about 200-250 degrees, but DOUBLE CHECK. Always. It's important.

Crate & Barrel's Essential dinnerware collection meets all my specs, with the bonus of being reasonably priced and simple.

Personally, I have Fiestaware, which I love. They have tons of colors, meet all my specs, plus are oven safe up to 400 degrees and even freezer safe! 

Crate & Barrel's Rika collection also meets my specs, and is great for people who want something with a bit of pattern on it. This pattern is also masculine enough that your dad won't feel weird using it.

DRINKWARE

Okay, so what you really need are stemless wine glasses, wine glasses, beer glasses, and champagne glasses. No seriously, that's it. We have tall glasses, but honestly, we almost never use them. We always reach right for the stemless wine glasses for water, juice, iced tea, and even their true purpose, wine! Just think of them as cups you can also serve wine in.

Stemless wine glass from Crate & Barrel. Also, only $25 for 12 of them. For $50 someone can buy you 24 of the best glasses you'll ever own. Bonus: Duh they're dishwasher safe.

You really do need regular wine glasses with stems for entertaining though. The heat from your hands can warm up the wine, and if you're popping open a bourdeaux you brought back from France that you know goes for at least $50 in the US, you'll want to feel fancy doing it. Also, you mom will want a regular wine glass because hand washing a glass for her shows her you love her. True fact. 

This is the Gus wineglass from Crate & Barrel. Only $30 for 12 of them and that's really all you need. Use this for both red and white wines, plus any cocktails you feel should be fancy.

Okay, you might not NEED the beer glasses, but we keep about 8 beer glasses in the door of our freezer at all times. Do you know how fancy you feel offering someone a beer from a FROZEN GLASS!? They love that. We... uhm.... well we stole most of ours. Or got them for free with a promotion the bar was doing. But you should probably buy yours. For the sake of your karma. Also, these will hold water and juice and whatnot as well. Stop buying juice glasses. For real.

Pint tumbler from Crate & Barrel. A set of 4 only costs $12. Or just skip this and steal them. Your call.

Ya need the champagne flutes. I'm sorry, but you do. You can shove some mimosa's or bellini's in them too, but nothing else works for the bubbly stuff. Actually, I'm not sorry. You can get a bottle of Andre for like $7 and it's delicious and makes you feel like you've got something to celebrate so DO IT.

Zoom flutes from the great C&B. Legit, they cost freaking $15 for 6 of them. SUCK IT UP YOU NEED THEM.

FLATWARE

Yup. You're going to need forks and knives and whatnot. The nice lady who helped Hubs and I at Macy's, recommended 18/10 stainless steel, and to never use lemon (or anything acidic scented) dishwashing detergent because it would screw up the flatware. She didn't let us down.

This is the Oneida Flatware "Moda" set. For 65 pieces it was $225 at Macy's, but well worth it. Seriously, hubs touched every single knife, fork and  spoon in both Macy's and Crate & Barrel. This is the one you want. Just buy it.

LINENS

There's only one thing here you truly need, and those are white cotton napkins. They're white because you'll be bleaching these a lot, and they're cotton because we're adults and a "roller napkin" COUGHCOUGH PAPER TOWEL COUGHCOUGH is not cutting it at your fancy, grown up Thanksgivings, alright? Now in terms of placemats, table runners, table cloths, etc, the world is your oyster. Go crazy with color and patterns, hell, even themes! They're fun.

Fete Vanilla Cotton Napkin from C&B. Only $20 for 8 of them, but you'd be wise to register for 3 sets. If you really must be creative, you could always add some embroidery. 

Okay, so this Heredia tablecloth from Anthropologie seems insane, especially for $118,  BUT IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY.

This Malani placemat from C&B is totally adorable, and much more reasonable at  $13.

C&B's Handpainted Plaid Runner is adorable and runs from $50-$70.  Get the table runner pun? Eh? No? Okay. 

This series will be a regular, but sporadic. Unlike the Fancy Party Series, I don't quite know where I'll be going with this or how it will end, but I guess we'll discover together!

Homemade Soft Pretzels!

I love me some soft pretzels, and when I lived in Annapolis, I had weekend access to hot, fresh, delicious soft pretzels at the local Amish market, where you got a free pretzel with the purchase of whatever specific shake they chose.

Apparently the Amish population is lacking where I live now, because there isn't an Amish market, and yet I still constantly crave pretzels. So, I decided that (with the help of Hubs) I'd make my own!

This is the recipe I got from Alton Brown. Please feel free to look it up yourself, as I took some artistic liberties (coughcough lazy shortcuts coughcough) with the directions. Alright, fine, I'll provide you with the link BECAUSE I'M A NICE PERSON.

Ingredients:

• 1 1/2 cups warm (110 to 115 degrees F) water
• 1 tablespoon sugar
• 2 teaspoons kosher salt
• 1 package active dry yeast
• 22 ounces all-purpose flour, approximately 4 1/2 cups
• 2 ounces unsalted butter, melted
• Vegetable oil, for pan
• 10 cups water
• 2/3 cup baking soda
• 1 large egg yolk beaten with 1 tablespoon water
• Pretzel salt

We'll follow along with the directions using the pictures I took.

1.5 cups water, the yeast, the salt, and the sugar!

Combine the above in the bowl of your stand mixer, then let sit for five minutes to let the little yeasts awake from their slumber.

In the meantime, melt ya buttah

and weigh your flour.

After five minutes, your bowl should look like this. Little yeasty babies are awake! And burping!

Attach the dough hook for your mixer

Dump in that melty buttah

Dump in your flour

Put in on low speed, so that all the ingredients can meet

Now that they're mostly-ish mixed together, crank the speed to medium 

By medium, I assumed he meant high. Let the mixer do it's magic until the dough pulls away from the side of the bowl, about 4-5 minutes. Also, obviously these are Hubs' hands. Mine are prettier.

After realizing that our dough was too sticky to pull away (Florida humidity ruins everything ever), we added about 2.5 more tablespoons of flour. Then it did this, so we assume it worked.

Cover the dough and the inside of the bowl with a light coating of vegetable oil to  prevent a large sticky mess, slap some plastic wrap on top, and allow to rise in a warm place until doubled in size, about 50-55 minutes.

I put mine on my screened in porch, and since it's about 100 degrees outside and 85%  humidity, decided I'd check it after 40 minutes. Also, robot timer returns.

This should be just enough time to write the start of your blog post and beat level 142 of Candy Crush.

Yup, that'll do it.

Set your oven to 450

Prep your sheet pans

Cut some parchment paper to size, then oil it. Don't be shy, we really don't want these to stick.

Our pot/pan wasn't big enough to contain the 10 cups of water, so we halved the water and baking soda. This is 5 cups of water and a third of a cup baking soda. Bring this to a rolling boil.

Lightly oil your work surface, then put your pretzel dough on it.

I used my pizza cutter to cut the dough into 8 approximately equal dough balls.

Roll a snake

Cross the ends

Twist em

Then bring em down. Easy as pie.

Place them on your prepped sheet pans while they await their baths. Make whatever shapes you want. This is kitchen anarchy, yo.

Make hubs deal with putting the pretzels, one by one, into the boiling baking soda solution.

Keep them there for 30 seconds.

Make your egg wash using an egg yolk and a tablespoon of water.

Oh yeah, That's good.

Brush your egg wash on your steaming pretzels. PS RIP peace sign pretzel. 

I don't have pretzel salt, so I used kosher salt. I have no regrets.

Ready for the hot box!

Bake until a rich mahogany color. 12-14 minutes. I swapped pans halfway through the cook time so that the top rack wasn't left burnt and the bottom pale. It was a very good choice.

OMG DON'T THESE LOOK AMAZING

Letting these cool for the required 5 minutes hurt my soul. Deeply.

SOON.

These were delicious! They looked and tasted exactly like the pretzels I've enjoyed while in Germany. Better than any of the ones I've bought as concession stands, where they tend to always taste stale and soapy. The recipe was pretty easy, with the only semi-stressful portion being the water/baking soda bath, and though the process takes a bit, it's definitely nowhere near as nerve-wracking as folding egg whites into something. 

Pair with mustard, marinara, or cheese sauce. Or just stuff them all in your face. No judgement here. You could do cheese pretzels, cinnamon sugar, rosemary and garlic.... it's like pizza. You can put prettymuch whatever you want on these and it's still going to be fantastic. Also, try making sticks, nuggets, or dinosaurs while shaping them, but keep in mind that any thin spots on the dough will probably break while in the bath. People who left reviews said that these also made delicious pretzel buns, so keep that in mind.

Imma go eat my pretzels now.

Nomnomnomnomnom,

Katie.