Exercise.... Ugh.

Thing is, I really don't like to exercise that much. Unless I have somewhere I need to be or something I should be doing, I really enjoy reclining on the couch with a cat purring on my belly (as Bear Grylls is doing at this very moment).

Hubs on the other hand.... we honestly couldn't be more poorly matched in this regard. This is the guy who has run a marathon (A MARATHON). I've seen how twitchy and restless he gets when he doesn't run, so I do everything I can to encourage him without ever having to run with him. I let him spend some cash to run in races, and I wake my sleepy self up at like 5 am to drive him there. I park the car somewhere, fall asleep, pick him up when he's done, then drive his sweaty butt home. This works for us, because he says the worst part of most races is parking and fighting traffic, so I do all of that for him, while still being able to nap.

Hubs crossing the finishing line like a boss, obviously sweating profusely.

Lots of couples really like working out together, and if you're one of them then go you.

Day-to-day, we've developed a system. Mondays and Wednesdays the gym close to our house has a spin class and a Zumba class at the same time. He goes off to his spin class, while I go to Zumba. Sometimes my upstairs neighbor Mare comes with us and we do Zumba together. We're both kinda uncoordinated and lack rhythm, so this works really well for us. My one experience doing the spin class showed me how poorly ventilated that little room was, and the entire time I felt like I was a mere moment away from falling off that bike.

Once, on a rainy Saturday, hubs thought it would be a really good idea for us to play racquetball together. As it turns out, he was WRONG. During the course of our one-hour game I cried on three separate occasions. Once when the ball hit me in the face (reflexive crying), once when I ran into the wall (that was mostly embarrassment) and the third time when the ball managed to hit me on a major internal organ (this time I fell to the floor laughing at how horrible I was at this game). When I told my mom about all of this, she told me that once my dad had to get stitches because of his lack of coordination playing racquetball. I have yet to try again.

Instruments of destruction and pain.

In December we started doing a Par Course close to our house. Basically it's a trail that's about a mile long, with 18 "stations" that range from stretching, pushups, pullups, and even a balance beam. I ride my bike the mile roundtrip while hubs runs. The good thing about this is that we can jog the distance between the stations together while I do the "beginner par" and hubs does the "advanced par". He can do his zillion pushups and when I finish my ten, I sit and drink water. Unfortunately the arrival of spring has made doing this kind of outdoor activity my own personal form of pollen hell, so this might have to be something we only do in the winter.

I don't take pictures of us working out, so this is from our neighbor's "R" party a couple years ago. I was a rabbit, hubs was a rapper. This is us.

Keep in mind, I've never matched the workouts I managed in the 3 months before my wedding. But at that point I could chant to myself "the wedding pictures will last longer than the pain". I also used this chant during those months when I cut out pizza and ice cream. However, I looked damn good that day. Since I doubt my grandchildren will look back at the selfies I post on instagram, the motivation isn't there anymore. Oh well.

Most people, myself included, need a workout partner. Picking one is very difficult. They need to be at approximately the same fitness level as you, and be interested in doing a similar kind of workout. For example, two people who are just starting to work out is great, but if one wants to start running while the other would sooner chop off her feet than run, it doesn't work. Mare likes to jog, but since my jogging requires frequent breaks and a complete lack of motivation, we'd make crappy jogging partners (sorry). However, our husbands both enjoy running, and since they have a similar mile time, they do well together.

Oh, and to the people who don't like being "oogled" at the gym.... why the hell not? You probably look like crap, and yet someone is still checking you out? It makes me feel pretty good. In fact, the only time I even work out a little bit with Phoenix is because he constantly showers me with compliments and encouraging looks. I let him lead because I like looking at his butt while he runs. Don't try to touch me or talk to me, but a little up-down with your eyes is just fine by me. Hell, there was a dude in Zumba the other day and I'm not going to say I didn't enjoy his booty shakin. Just be cool about it. You're not an animal in heat, we're going for encouragement, not "look at me one more time and I swear on my mothers life I will taze the hell out of your nutsack".

No matter how you workout or who you do it with, have fun doing it! Try some of the machines, sign up for a few classes, and figure out which things don't make you want to kill yourself while you're doing it. I thought it was impossible until I found Zumba! Loud music and booty shaking is the best workout ever.

The shirt over head move is very important in Zumba.

To anyone else who takes Zumba... can you please explain to me the whole "Zumba pants" thing? They're like weird cargo pants and I don't know why I would need that many pockets while I'm dancing.

WHY? WHAT? YOU MAKE NO SENSE!

Until next time....