Store Bought Hair Treatment!

We're no longer going to speak of the massive failure that was the home made hair mask. It was gross and a mistake.

Instead, we're going to talk about something I bought at the store! SO. MUCH. BETTER.

Pre-treatment, banana free hair.

I bought this one. Mostly because I love Paul Mitchell's tea tree products. This sells for about $18 on Amazon, but I got mine at the Commisary for about $15

I don't know what these little beads are supposed to do, but I like them. I started with this amount, but ended up using about 3 blobs of this size to get all of my hair.

After applying, put your hair in a bun to keep it out of your eyes, then relax and shave your legs or whatever. Keep it in for about 15 minutes before rinsing well. NOTE: You really want to keep this out of your eyes. You know that extreme cold of chewing mint gum and then drinking ice water? Imagine that, only it's your eye. Less pleasant.

Post-treatment, my hair was super soft, smelled fresh and minty, and it didn't leave my hair greasy or oily like some conditioners do. Also, I have a dinosaur necklace on. We should mention this.

This product was kinda pricey considering you only get 7 oz in a bottle, but since I ended up using about an ounce, and use the product once a week, I'm getting almost 2 months worth of product, and spending around $2 per treatment. If you really want to extend the life of the product, use a half and half mix of it with your regular conditioner.

Yeah the homemade mask was only pennies, but having bananas in your hair is GROSS. Personally, this is worth it to me.

Also, here's a picture of Bear Grylls creepin on me in the shower.

CAN I HELP YOU!? NO!? FINE.

Books You Need To Read

Basically, they're my favorite books and I'm genuinely upset that when I reference them around you that you don't get it.

I don't intend to read mostly female authors, but I do. Most of the chick-lit I've read by men is truly a struggle to read, because they just don't get it. Also, girl power!

1. Confessions of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella

This was one of my first forays into the world of chick-lit, and I probably read it for the first time when I was.... 11? 12? Sophie Kinsella (the pen name of Madeleine Wickham) is one of my favorite authors. She's published books under both names, and I devour all of them. More complex than your average chick-lit, but just a supremely satisfying author. Real talk, her book Twenties Girl made me cry. Like I was sitting with my family and all of a sudden I'm blubbering. Love love love love love. Fair warning, I'm sure lots of people won't understand the main character, Becky, and how she gets herself into the same situation over and over again, but I do. With just a bit less self-control, I could easily see myself getting into her mindset, which is why it's so important to read it. You'll become more self-aware with your spending, without her convenient happy ending.

2. World War Z by Max Brooks

Okay, so fair warning, I already know I'm going to freaking HATE the movie of this. Mostly because this book is done in the style of a report, where we get accounts from all over the world at various times during the war, from the very very beginning until the end. Now, I like Brad Pitt and whatnot, but unless he's James freaking Bond there is NO way he was all over the world during all the parts of this war. Like... no. However, if you don't want to sleep at night, read this. Legitimately terrifying. In fact, this is the kind of book that you put in the freezer. ("Friends" reference? Anyone? Oh. Okay.)

3. To The Moon and Back by Jill Mansell

Again, I have a huge book-crush on this author. I own almost everything she's written and I just love her. Likeable characters and I was legit sobbing in the first chapter of this book. I WAS AT WORK, AS A NANNY, WAITING FOR THIS KID TO GET HOME, AND HE COMES IN AND I'M CRYING. It was almost as bad as when I watched "Up" for the first time while I was babysitting. The first 5 minutes of that movie is the first chapter of this book. Quickly you're built up and then you're swiftly knocked onto your ass and you throw the book across the room. Mansell pulled a Tolken "red wedding" right away. Ugh. But the actual story is also totally worth the pain.

4. There's Cake In My Future by Kim Gruenenfelder

This woman needs a pen name. That last name is a freaking trip. Anywho, I loved this book. Whenever I can get a bunch of characters and storylines in one book, I instantly love it more. Sometimes multiple storylines can lead to a bit of a mess (I once spent half of a book completely confused regarding who was who and had to stop and start from the beginning), but this one pulls it off in a very "Love, Actually" kind of way. Oh and read her other books. You won't regret it. 

5. Something Borrowed by Emily Giffin

THE MOVIE FOR THIS OMFG PLEASE JUST DON'T BOTHER. I loved the characters in this book despite their flaws, but the movie just made all of them so.... shallow. Ethan isn't even IN AMERICA for crying out loud! Now, about the book, Giffin always challenges me with her characters, and this book is no different. Sometimes I understand them, and sometimes I hate their guts. However, she always has the outside "source of reason" character that asks all the questions you're thinking, and tells off the characters exactly like you would, which I love. If you're going to read this book, you NEED to read "Something Blue" by her, because it's basically a follow-up, only with Darcy, the "villain" so to speak, of this book. By the end of that book, everything comes full circle and you truly see her inner struggle. Read it. And the rest of her books, too.

6. One Day by David Nicholls

This is the only book on this list that I hate. "Katie, if you hate this book, why should we read it?" I'll tell you why. Because the main characters are awful people in totally different ways. The guy is basically a horrible human being with no redeeming qualities, and plays horrible games with the girl, who I also hate for being a spineless piece of crap. I literally shouted at these people "ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!" multiple times. Once when I was reading at a Starbucks. I need you to read this book so that you can avoid dating either one of these people, because once you see them, you'll hate them. If you identify with either one of these people, you'll understand why people hate you.

This book is pretty much the literary (if I could even describe such whiny drivel as "literary") version of "The Ring", where you have to show it to someone else so that they understand how awful people are. They're not perverts or rapists, not thieves or con artists, but in a way they're worse. Because there's no law against wallowing in self-pity or being a prick.

7. Thin, Rich, Pretty by Beth Harbison

Beth Harbison just gets me. I love her. I love everything I've ever read by her. Again, it's separate story lines executed with perfection. Easily relatable and surprisingly likeable characters, plus her books are based in the Washington, DC area! Like, I KNOW THESE PLACES. All of her books are, which just makes it that much better to me. Her books are like my mom's chocolate chip cookies. Delicious, remind me of home, and over way too fast. Divine.

8. The Social Climber's Handbook by Molly Jong-Fast

I'm going to be straight with you right now, this book is MESSED UP. Like, mostly I'm suggesting some light chick-lit, beach reads, happy endings. THIS ISN'T LIKE THAT AT ALL. You kinda hate all the characters in it, because basically everyone is a sociopath, and the whole time you're like WHAT JUST HAPPENED. Don't read this at the beach unless the person next to you doesn't mind you saying "YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT JUST WENT DOWN IN THIS BOOK" because they'll be like "shut up I'm working on my tan." Just.... read it. You'll see. No spoilers. Just read it.

9. Chasing Venus by Diana Dempsey

Honestly, this is the book I just finished. Her books are a mix of chick-lit, romance, and mystery, which makes me supremely happy. They're so easy to read. You start reading, thinking "oh I'll read a chapter before I start making dinner", then all of a sudden it's 3 hours later, your house is completely dark, you're starving, and you've gotten nothing done. One of the problems I have with her writing is that there are a few love scenes, but they're just utterly boring and predictable. Too romance novel-esque. However, the storyline is amazing, so it's still worth it.

10. The Devil Wears Prada by Lauren Weisberger

I'm going to admit to you that this is one book where the movie actually does it justice. Of course some chunks of story got cut, certain situations manipulated, and a random gay friend who definitely wasn't in the book, but I really enjoyed both equally. The book is more complex, a bit more gritty, but no one wants to see grit in a movie like that. Both are worth your time, and her other books are just as good as this one. Love her.

We're Applying Make Up!

This isn't the routine I do everyday, but it IS the one I do either when I need to look professional (job interviews), classy and put together (large groups of adults), or just feel like I've got some time. The entire routine only takes me about 20-25 minutes, which really isn't that bad considering how many steps there are.

Keep in mind, I'm extremely pale, and I'm aware that for most people, the colors I listed are probably way too light to really show up, especially those who get tan during the summer. If that's the case, pick darker versions of the colors shown and just sub them in. I won't be insulted. 

Also, I'm aware that almost 100% of the products listed are MAC. I just have hypersensitive skin on my face and most other makeup brands leave me in hives. I also can't use benzoyl peroxide on my face, which blows because it really clears up my acne right before it gives me a hideous, itchy rash. There are sites everywhere that list really great dupes so feel free to do that. (For those who don't know, a dupe is a color duplicate, usually a cheaper brand offering a product that's almost exactly the same as a more expensive one. For example, L'oreals HIP duo in Shady has a dupe for the MAC Wedge eyeshadow I use.)

Let's begin!

Start by washing and moisturizing that pretty little face of yours. I did this. Now I'm just giving you a nakedface pic.

Step 1: Powder. I use MAC Studio Fix in NC15, aka white. I like that I can layer it on for more coverage without it getting cakey and gross. 

Use your foundation brush (this is MAC brush 190) cover any random redness or imperfections. Normally, I'd use my Bobbi Brown concealer in Porcelain Bisque, but I ran out a couple weeks ago. The tiny pot lasted me damn near 2 years though.

Next, use your powder brush to even everything out and make your whole face look like you're a little corpse-like. We'll add the color back later. I promise.

Enjoy how soft the brush feels against your face

Make sure to get your ears, hair, and jawline with the brush so that you don't have any weird lines.

Step 2: Blush. This is MAC Whim. It's also hella old. The brush is a random Image Essentials one. It's hard to use a blush brush for much else since you don't want your whole face to be pink, so it doesn't really matter.

Use your blush brush and apply to the apples of your cheeks. It helps to smile so that you don't go too high or too low. Bring the blush back all along the tops of your cheekbones.
NOTE: This is a perfectly acceptable time to stop with your face.

Step 3 is bronzer. This is MAC Nude On Board from the nautical inspired line they did last May. The brush is MAC 167SH

Using VERY LITTLE product, apply in a circular motion under your cheekbones, making sure to get all the way back to your hairline and right under your jaw. This is great contouring and also provides you with a little bit of color. Go very light or you will end up orange.

Step 4 is eyebrows. I only do a little bit of powder in mine. Powder is MAC eyeshadow in Omega and the brush is 310SE, which I think is a lip brush, but I prefer it for my brows since it's small enough to give me easy control. It also doesn't hold much powder, which helps you to not overdo it. I'm not going to give you a guide on how to pick which color powder to use in your eyebrows, but just go to the MAC counter and ask them. It's their entire job to know this.

Using short upward strokes, fill in your brows starting in the front and working your way back, following your natural arch.

Make sure both of your brows are even. This is really important.

Step 5 is to prime your eyelids. Mine are oily, which sounds super gross, but will keep my eyes looking younger for longer. Anyway, if I want my eye makeup to stick around, it's very important to give it something to stick to. There are lots of eye/makeup primers, but I like this MAC Paintpot in Painterly, because it also covers the visible veins in my eyelids.

Apply with your finger.

So fresh and so pretty. Now let's put some stuff on it. Also, this is a simple stopping point where you can go directly to step 8 to finish off your look.

Step 6 is eyeshadow. I like my pretty-neutral 3 shadow process. The first step is MAC eyeshadow in Wedge, and the brush is MAC 210

This is a terrible outline of where we'll be putting this. Do not do this and move on.

That's more like it, but girl you need to BLEND IT.

Blend it up all around and in your crease.

I like to blend it into my whole out corner, going a bit less than a quarter into my bottom lashline

Do the other eye. BLEND. This is what happens when you blend, and it's very attractive.

Next up is MAC Honeylust applied with MAC brush 217

Apply a light coat to your lid. This shadow is a little glittery, but I like that.

I also add this on top of the Wedge once my whole lid is covered.

Last of the shadows is MAC Mylar applied with MAC brush 275. Sometimes when I'm lazy I skip the first two shadows and just apply this all over.

Apply this all along your browbone

Go into the inner corner with this color too, just to lighten everything up.

Apply a bit more generously if you haven't plucked your eyebrows in a while, it'll help hide the mess. If you're not coordinated enough to put pointy things close to your eyes today, skip the eyeliner and go directly to step 8.

Step 7 is eyeliner, and again, there's 3 used here (it's my lucky number). First is MAC  Fascinating.

Use this to line your whole bottom waterline on each eye. 

Go into your inner corners with this as well.

Again, BLEND. IT'S SO IMPORTANT.

Second, MAC Handforged. It's a really pretty golden color from the nautical-inspired line they did last year.

Use this to line your bottom lashline. I don't like using dark colors for it since it basically makes your eyes look way smaller than they are.

Make sure you get this as tight to the white in the waterline as possible. It really does look best.

Finally, MAC Eye Kohl in Teddy. A lovely soft, goldeny brown.

Apply this in a thin, thin line on the last 3/4s of your upper lashline

Get this in as tight as possible into your lashes. You shouldn't be able to tell where your lashes end and your liner begins. Bring the line all the way to the outer corner, and flare out the tiniest bit.

It should look kinda like this

Step 8 is a lashes 2-parter. Part one is to curl them. I like my Tweezerman model. Do not ever skip this step, even on a lazy day, because it really makes your lashes look so much better.

You want to be as close to the bottom as physically possible without pinching your skin

Gently press down for about ten seconds, or just enough time for your cat to pass you. Do this to both eyes (duh).

Part two is mascara. I use CoverGirl Lashblast Volume Waterproof in Black Brown. Black mascara just doesn't look natural on me and is a touch too much drama for daytime. Also, waterproof because humidity is stupid.

Starting at the very very base of your lashes, slowly wiggle your brush upwards.

Keep wiggling until you hit the very last tiptop of your lashes.

For the bottom lashes, hold your brush vertically and lightly dab the color on. You don't want to make them long and full, you just want the color to match your top ones.

Without adding more powder, clean up underneath your eyes with your powder brush.

I like to go all the way back to my hairline to make sure the edges of the eyeshadow are even on both sides.

Finally, lips. Start out with a lipliner (it really does help keep everything in place), or not and just skip this. It's your life. I like this MAC one in Spice because it matches the pinky-neutral lip colors that I always wear. Since I can't pull off a red lip, this is the only lip pencil I own.

Staying within the lines of your lips, draw a thick, but light, line.

We're not going to put on a red nose and be a clown, so if you want more of a cupids bow, apply the line a touch heavier there to exaggerate it.

Blend blend blend blend blend until your whole lips are lightly colored in.

Last, I use lipstick. This is my favorite MAC cremesheen lipstick in Speed Dial.

I tend to just lightly dab the color on, not make big swipes. Big swipes always make my mouth look a mess.

Gently dabbing.

So that lipstick doesn't get on your teeth, wrap your lips around your thumb and pull it out. It gets all the color that's travelled beyond the visible boundary.

Clean up all the edges after you've mushed your lips around.

Blot!

Since I'm always too lazy to put on another layer of lipstick and dab again, I'm done!

Finished side look

Keep in mind, I'm not calling this a "no make-up" look. You will look like you applied make up. But isn't that kind of the point sometimes? Like "hey, I actually gave a crap today!"

Should I include more of these? Maybe a smoky eye? Something more festive? Let me know!